My last crush, my first love.

My last crush, my first love,

I love you endlessly.

You spin me around,

turn my world upside down.

You tripped, I fell,

I never felt so well.

Your smile is killer,

like a movie with thriller.

You are my day-dream,

 I crave you more than ice-cream.

I miss how we used to viber & skype,

it always made me feel so alive.

You are my sun & the stars,

also the moon of my life,

I love you more than Dany loved Drogo

or Drogo loved Dany in his life!

Like the sand on the beach,

and the stars in the sky,

you rock my world & also get me so high!

We argue we fight,

but somehow you always make it all right.

I think about you all the time,

so much! that babe, you also make me rhyme!

You are my fate karma destiny,

And baby, I love you endlessly.

xoxo

Confused & Complicated.

I don't know how to start, and from where to start.

I am not a good writer. But, I just feel like writing down something.

I've changed a lot. Negative change.

Something has completely gone wrong with me.

I've started being very rude and impatient. Completely opposite to what I really am/was.

I've started  ignoring people a lot. 
I get 500 times more mood swings than I used to. I just eat,eat,eat,eat,eat,eat&eat only all the time. Shall I go to a doctor? -___-

Friends, family, acquaintances. .I just can't behave properly.
I go to college blankly, laugh all the time, come back home blankly and stay blank.

At times, I'm the same usual me and then suddenly this new me comes alive.

Maybe I'm surrounded by so much hatred that it makes me SO sick and tired of everything that I feel like killing everyone.

"There's only hate, there's only pain, there's only tears, there is no love here."

There was a time when I had a LOT of ACTUAL friends. Yes. But, not anymore.

And it's been quite a long time since I talked to someone with whom I can share everything and completely pour out everything. Someone whom I can hug and just cry in peace.

So my blog is being the 'shoulder-to-cry-on' right now. Though, I am not writing down anything clearly but I really don't care. There is so much going on inside my head that it makes me so mad.

I am not saying I'm alone or lonely. .but no one really understands me right now. And I don't even feel like making anyone understand how I really feel.
Earlier, I would just cry alone to take out all the anger, frustration, whatever it is.
But now I don't even cry, I just feel emotion-less.
I can't even figure out the reason behind all of this. Is it because school is over? Friends have changed? I have changed? Some guy problems? Am I still living in the past? Everyone has become weird? I have gone crazy? Or the world was supposed to end, but didn't? :s 
Since school got over, my life has become a boring piece of shit. And so have I.
I don't even feel like talking to anyone 'cause I've become so boring that I don't even have anything to talk about, so I'd rather not irritate the person and then get irritated myself. 
I don't feel like blogging also. I am blogging after so many months now. *sigh*

Memories? Good times? Better times? Nostalgia, I guess.

Maybe I haven't moved on. Or maybe I have.

Maybe I need to move on. Or maybe I just need a break.
I DON'T KNOW! :| I feel like banging my head on the wall all the time.

Also, I don't understand why people judge other people? No one really asked for your opinion. Then why poke your friggin' nose in others' business?
If I smile&laugh too much, they think I'm crazy.
If I stay normal and blank, they think I'm rude and stupid.
PEOPLE!!! "You know my name, not my story. .so don't judge me."

Anyone who reads this post would just probably think "So what? Happens with everyone"

Yes, I agree it happens with everyone. But when it happens to you, you just can't take it. Even if you take it, a saturation point comes when you just give up on everything and everyone.
( Oh wait! No one really reads my blog. :P )
Hmmppphhh.

And, I don't know why I get this sudden urge to blog only WHEN my exams are going on! >.< I'm  failing in my First set of Examinations in college. Wow! I'm such a failure in life.
Don't even know why I got into this course? why the hell am I screwing my own life? I don't know where I'm going with this life. Who am I? Why am I being like this? What should I do? Where should I go? Whom shall I go to? -.-'
"I just hide behind the tears of a clown."

There's so much confusion in my head, it's making my life complicated.

Just waiting for things to become better.
Trying to find the good old awesome 'me'
Endless wait.  

 

PS : This is to all the people who tell me "YOU'VE CHANGED" -

"If you can't handle me at my worst, you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best"

My Bucket List.

[] - Go to USA

[] - Italy
[] -  London
[] - Paris

[] Kiss and dance under the Eiffel tower
[] - Brazil.
[] -   Explore India
[] - Set foot on all continents.
[] -   Go to Disney world
[] - Ride the biggest roller coaster
[] - Sleep under the stars

[] - Live alone

[] - Travel Solo

[x] - Spend an entire day in bed

[] - Miss a train/flight
[] - Spend the night in a haunted place
[] - Shoot a gun
[] - Ride a horse
[x] - Go on a cruise
[] - Learn how to surf
[] - Fly an airplane
[] - Give a public speech
[] - Run a marathon

[] - Date a celebrity

[] - Break the law

[] - Spend a day without any technology

[x] - Faint
[] - Ride a motor cycle
[] - Drive a truck.
[x] - Ride a scooter.
[] - Learn how to fish
[] - Watch the Top 50 movies of all time

[] Read the Top 10 novels of all time
[x] - Rock climbing.

[] - Bungee Jumping
[] - Sky dive
[] - Scuba Diving
[] - Hot-Air Balloon

[] - Live in the 'my kind of house'

[] - Have this huge party, dance all night, get drunk and go to work next day straight away.
[x] - Throw a pool party.

[] Party till sunrise

[] - Build a school

[x] - Get a permanent tattoo.

[] - Eye-brow piercing.
[] -  Take a picture everyday, for a year.
[] - Be part of a flashmob

[] - Learn : Photography
[] - Drums
[] - Milk a cow.
[] - Build a sand castle.

[] Make a dream catcher

[] Go on a trip with my school friends

[] Go on a trip with my guy

[] Try Vodka gummy bears

[] Send a msg in a bottle

[] Own a pair of raybans

[x] Receive a red rose

[] Receive a huuugeee bunch of red roses

[x] - Cut my hair short.

[] - Go bald.
[] - Get blue/maroon hair streaks.

[] - Meet my online friends

[x] - Meet Rahul Dravid.

[] - Hug Ranveer Singh.
[] - Go to a masquerade party

[] - Attend one REALLY huge rock concert.
[x] - Attend Arijit Singh LIVE.

[] - Attend Eminem
[] - Simple Plan

[x] - Crowd-surfing in a concert.

[] - Try each and every kind of Alcohol.
[x] - Go to a strip club.

[] - Shop till I drop.
[x] -   Let go of a floating lantern
[] - Go in a taxi and yell "follow that car"
[] - Wish on a shooting star
[] - Have a Harry Potter/TFIOS cake for my birthday
[] - Own a Macbook
[] - try every flavor of Baskin Robbins ice cream
[] - Redesign my bedroom
[x] -   Find the perfect black dress
[] - Smash a pie in someone'sface
[] -   Spill wine on someone
[] - Be spoiled on Valentine's day
[x] - Try starbucks
[x] - Write a love letter
[] - Get drunk on a plane
[] -  Have a perfectttt wedding
[] - Lay on the road in the middle of the night
[] - Leave this city
[] - Lay in a hammock on beach
[] - Have a glowstick fight
[] - Go to and airport and buy tickets to a random place
[] - Watch fire works from inside a plane

[] - Own a Jaguar car.

[] - Adopt a puppy. (Black labrador)

[] - Collection of all my favorite movies and cartoon series & sitcoms.

[] - Give to a charity.

[] - Audition for MTV Roadies.

[] - Spend sometime getting my body into optimum shape.
[] - Ask out a crush.
[x] - Kiss a girl.

[] - Explore sexuality
[] - Sing Karaoke

[] - Spend New Year on the beach.

[x] - See the sunrise at beach.
[] - Date on the beach
[] - Kiss in the rain.

[] Kiss underwater
[] - Knit a sweater/gloves/socks

[x] - Meet a road accident. (not a MAJOR one :P)
[] - Get admitted in hospital for not something very serious. :P

[x] - Sing a song in front of an audience.

[] - Learn to ballroom dance, properly.

[] Switch off my phone for a month

[] Sleep in an igloo

[] Sleep in a tree house

[] Grow old with someone I love.

[] - Give mother a dozen of red roses, and tell her ILY.

I'll keep updating it here, as I come across more stuff I want to do before I die. :3

The world is going to end soon. Very soon.

. .not because of the environmental changes but because of the extent till which people have started faking each&everything.
I really don't understand how people can fake so much.
For example, there are these bunch of girls, they call themselves the best of friends, they're always aww-ing at each others' face but behind the scene, they all keep bitching about each other to everyone that she's so fake and all of that. But don't they realize that they are being fake too?
Some people don't even understand the meaning of friendship.
Like, there's this person who gets embarrassed about how his/her friend dresses up.
Then the third kind of people, they're very common - who will ignore you on your face but will always call you a 'friend' when they're in deep trouble.

I mean, seriously? Is this what you call friendship? Bitching about each other, being embarrassed of the person. .and faking friendship?
I feel so sad when I come across such people. I mean, I'm really speechless right now. It is really VERY SAD how people fake FRIENDSHIP.
It is the most beautiful relationship in the world.
I don't know what is wrong with people.
I think people are going to die soon because of jealousy and greed.

Beware!
The world is about to end.
And, 80% people are going to hell. :)

The old man. :)

 I wrote this poem for my grand-father's birthday :)


You have always been so far away but always near my heart. .
My little hand in yours,
you are my protector and my guide.
Ludo is what we've always played
Winning or losing never mattered, it was the time we spent together.
It is the time that I miss, the memories,
the laughter and the grand relation we share.
I hope we relive these memories soon, as I miss how you care.
You are intelligent and funny,
and you also taught me how to play Rummy.
You've always been my hero, you've always been me
How much I love, and how much I care,
is too much to describe.
It's your birthday and I promise you today
that I will definitely make you proud one day.
You are the best Grand father in this world,
and I hope nothing ever tears us apart
. .because you have always been so far away, but always near my heart! <3 :)

Waiting For Forever.

 "And, she's so scared to get close to anyone because everyone that said 'I'll be there' left."


As I wake up in the middle of the night, I think about someone.
Someone, who exists. Someone, who is there for me.

I think about what happened the previous morning.
'Twas just another ordinary morning, but one thing was always special about each morning.
Whenever I woke up, I always found him staring at me with a smile which would startle me. And each time I would think it's just a good dream, I'd realize that it's reality and dreams do come true.
He gently gives me a peck on my cheek, all the hormonal reflex actions take place and I instantly blush.
He laughs at me and I giggle and blood-rush-blush again.

I've had bad experiences in life, and always scared to have complete faith and blind trust on someone.
But as they say, Never Give Up On Love - I believe it now.
He's someone on whom I have complete faith.

He stands up for me always, even if everyone's against me.

He gets me ice-cream at 12 midnight, when I'm not in a good mood.

He gets me flowers unexpectedly.
Whenever I talk rudely to him, he instantly understands that I don't actually mean to be rude and hugs me tight when I'm at my worst.
He bares me when I'm mad at him, he just smiles to melt my heart once again.
He shouts at me if I do something wrong.
When I cry, he doesn't cry with me. Instead, he just asks "Who?"
He thinks I look beautiful all the time, even when I'm having a running nose.
He gets drenched in the rain with me, dances with me and kisses me in the pouring rain.
He loves me for me, doesn't try to change me.
Respects me, opens the door for me, pulls the chair for me.
He looks me in the eye and tells me how much he loves me.

He's my soul-mate, my hero for life.
Everything starts from him and never ends.

Life is absolutely amazing, because he's my life and it's totally perfect just like him.

But then I come across a major problem. .
He exists, but I haven't seen him yet, haven't met him yet, don't know him yet.
I'm just too young for everything right now.
So here in the middle of the night, I close my eyes again and wait for someone to come
and take me away in disguise. :)

"Right now, someone you haven't met is out there wondering what it would be like to meet someone like you."

- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pDR_ldGke6A&ob=av3e - <3

Smile.

Your smile makes my world go round
your smile brings me back to ground.
your smile makes me wanna smile
your smile makes me wanna cry.
your smile is the best that I've ever seen
your smile is something for which I'm always keen.
your smile takes me to another world
your smile shouts in my head aloud.
your smile builds me up
your smile breaks me down.
your smile shines like a star
your smile fades away like a dust bar.
your smile makes everything right
your smile now tears me apart.
your smile has gone away
your smile still lingers here.
your smile still makes me smile
your smile is almost suicidal.
I still love your smile,
but it kills me a little on the inside.
My heart cannot beat without your smile,
so I miss you and your smile.
But your smile still makes my heart sing
and brightens my day.
Your smile is what I live for,
cheers to your smile.

The Dead Pain.

 This was something I wrote last year. I really like it for some reason, I don't know. Posting it again here :

Days, months, years pass by

I still remember how I went through the pain, the sweet pain.

But I don't feel it anymore,

it's just a memory now

which has now faded away.

There's someone, still someone

who is watching me

and catching me when I fall.

When I lose myself,

when I lose all the control,

there's someone who gives me all the love.

Oh someone is there, someone is here.

Oh someone has killed the pain

It doesn't hurt no more

and I feel a lot more .

I believe God sent his favourite angel for me

who makes me smile all the time

and will hold on to me through miles and miles. . . :-)

Back! :)

Okay, so my gmail got hacked. And my Youtube, Blogger, FormSpring. .everything used to work through google. But err, some people just can't get enough of 'hacking'
Anyway, no comments on that.
Made a new blog now.
Happy Reading :)